Scott Thompson's blog

The day has come for untold thousands of LGBT service members to breathe a sigh of relief. The eighteen year policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has finally been officially repealed. Perhaps this can usher in a new era of relatedness. For so long enjoined from bridging the gap between gay and straight we now have the opportunity to take another important step. What if we were all proactive and took the risk to both ‘ask and tell’ each other about ourselves? What if our civil discourse actually encouraged this openness toward each other? What if our own healing and experience of wholeness comes from a deep and sustained knowledge and relationship with ‘the other’ in dialogue that encourages us to share our many identities as well as enact our natural curiosity about difference?

Those who fight often face brutal or traumatic events which will remain with them forever, form loyalties and social bonds under the rigors of combat, and return to a society that doesn't seem to understand them. The dissonance between their inner and outer worlds can be profoundly painful unless they find ways to meaningfully share their experiences.

As the director of Intersections Veteran-Civilian Dialogue project, it's my pleasure to invite you to our next Veteran-Civilian Dialogue coming Friday, September 23, from 6-9 pm. Your presence is warmly invited. Your referrals welcomed. Please email us by clicking here to secure your attendance.

 I am clicking away at my computer when the phone rings and a colleague tells me to turn on the radio to WNYC –– something I need to hear. I landed on the website to catch the remaining five minutes of a Brian Lehrer Show called “Back From War”. 

I read an interesting article recently of Tom Brokaw’s interview with Oprah Winfrey. He highlighted his concern about the American public having little consideration for the sacrifices that soldiers and their families make for our freedom. He goes on further and makes a very interesting call for all of us to reenlist as citizens.  I like this term ‘reenlist as citizens’. It seems that this begins to address the shared common bond between soldiers and civilians. We are both citizens of this country. And as such we are fundamentally related to each other. What one does, the other suffers.  Likewise, perhaps we are ultimately responsible for each other, despite our disagreements about it. While not specifying the to-do list he does make an elegant plea for civilians to step forward and reengage and be in relationship with our veterans, above and beyond the assistance and services they rightfully deserve.

I admit to being slightly disturbed by an article I just read.  Terrific piece of writing that was able to pierce through a cloud of worldview or complacency I seem to find myself in from time to time, grateful for the veil that lifts in its wake.

I’ve been moved to write about how much veterans need civilians and equally how much civilians need veterans.  I am coming to learn that war impacts both in powerful ways and that healing can only occur when both are in relationship and dialogue with each other. I recently read two different experiences of civilians who suffered from the common stance of veterans about ‘protecting us by not sharing their stories’. The first story is of a wife of a returning OIF soldier and the discoveries she makes when the two of them would watch a war movie together.

I saw a brilliant Emmy Nominated film the other day and wanted to comment in light of our highly successful Veteran –Civilian Dialogue project. The film was called Soldiers of Conscience and is a documentary about several soldiers and the struggle of conscience that impacts their military service.

Ever wonder why both statements are included in this now cultural slogan?  They are the two roles, in this case of heterosexual and homosexual, and the ‘legal’ relationship between them as members of the military community. Heterosexuals are enjoined from asking about another’s sexual orientation and the homosexual is likewise enjoined from disclosing this information. Strange that we’ve legalized an injunction between two groups and dictated the terms of this relationship. This legal relationship is breaking down and giving way to an ever increasing acceptance of LGBT services members.

Rarely discussed among veteran issues is the moral pain and distress that soldiers face upon their return and its crippling impact.  A recent study indicated that over 50 % of returning soldiers abandoned their faith during the conflict in which they fought.   And like