The Importance of Veteran-Civilian Programs, a Reflection

The other day I was walking to lunch and passed by Marble Collegiate Church near our office in New York City. This is a church with ribbons on its railing. Each ribbon commemorates a U.S. soldier killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. A blustery day in general, a decisive gust of wind animated the ribbons, almost as if they were speaking. I found it both beautiful and bothersome in the same moment, particularly as I keep losing track of the number of soldier killed, and as I get lulled and dulled into what the media deems more important. With focus and determination to remember, I searched and discovered that—as of this writing—5,277 soldiers have died.

This fact, along with recent and ongoing headlines—including the shooting at Ft. Hood, important op-ed pieces in major newspapers, historic veterans legislation, one of the largest turnouts for a veterans parade in New York City, and an outpouring of compassion—have brought active and veteran members of the military and their issues to the forefront of our national consciousness.

Two years ago, an initial impulse stirred in the heart of our colleague and Director of Communication Megan Hoelle regarding concern for our returning soldiers. From an impulse, now tended with enormous attention and good will, has arisen a signature project of Intersections—The Veteran Civilian Dialogues. These are conversations, as well as utilization of the arts and new media, to bring the two communities of veterans and civilians together to deepen our understanding, respect and way forward with each other.

Why the linking of veterans with civilians?

On Veterans Day 2008, we invited a small group of civilians to come together to listen to one veteran and his work. His opening remarks quickly showed that all of us together are impacted by war. In his statement, now famous to me, he said, “You all have something I need for my healing.”

You could hear a pin drop in the room. He quickly touched a deep need that many civilians have about wanting to help veterans in some way. We have heard time and again that something nags at the civilian’s heart—a feeling, a pain, a compassion, a guilt, a wish to be of service to the veteran. What is this? We sense that we are beneficiaries of their service, he said, that they have endured something extreme on our behalf, and that we have a responsibility to carry some of their experience.

The speaker followed by saying, “And I have something you need for your healing.” We learned that we are truly bereft without the experience, knowledge and relationships that our warriors have for us.

And so on that day was born the Veteran Civilian Dialogues. It is a process designed to have equal numbers of veterans and civilians come together for mutual understanding, support and conversation around the impact of war upon all. These conversations are facilitated by a veteran and a civilian.

Since then, we've learned many things along the way and believe we’ve embarked on an important journey. This is, after all, the primary mission of Intersections: through good will and great attention, to seek common ground by bringing together different voices, experiences and people, all in the service of peace and reconciliation.

Since its inception in 2008, the Veteran Civilian Dialogue Project has hosted a national conversation, convened panel discussions on the needs of veterans, screened a film by Sesame Street for families impacted by war, hosted a veterans play, commissioned a documentary, and engaged in ongoing dialogue sessions. Recently, we received a grant from Purdue University and the Military Family Research Institute to expand the dialogues to other parts of the nation. Clearly, we have struck a chord of hope.

Underpinning this initiative is the desire to heal. We discovered that between soldiers and civilians there exists a painful and unresolved rift, and that veterans and civilians have a long history of being unrelated to each other and both have paid a heavy price. We discovered that the common denominator was our shared citizenry, as well as the impact of war upon all.

We see this initiative having important impact for neighborhoods, communities, cities and our nation. We hope to create a new social fabric that supports and honors all who sacrificed and have been touched by war. Our intention beyond this day is to bring out this process and invite these communities of veterans and civilians in, to develop resiliency, foster healing, advocate for unresolved issues and to leave no soldier behind.

We invite you to join us.